I'm wearing black dress pants and black dress shoes. My shirt is going to be a pleated white dress shirt (white buttons). I have the option of purchasing it with a wing tip collar or a normal collar (laydown). I want to avoid the waiter look because I WON'T be wearing a coat. Any recommendations? Also, what sort of bow tie would you suggest?I'm wearing black dress pants and black dress shoes. My shirt is going to be a pleated white dress shirt (white buttons). I have the option of purchasing it with a wing tip collar or a normal collar (laydown). I want to avoid the waiter look because I WON'T be wearing a coat. Any recommendations? Also, what sort of bow tie would you suggest?

This does sound very waiter like.. Do you have to wear black? You could try wearing dark blue dress pants and a light blue shirt. I think it's a very classy look and it avoids the waiter dilemma. Alternatively you could wear gray

It sounds like you're wearing a tuxedo without the jacket. Any particular reason why? Dressing like that will no doubt make you look like a waiter. If you're going to wear 90% of a tuxedo, then just go the full distance and wear it all.